10 Reasons Pineapple Belongs On Pizza

By: Darcy Tellier

 

There are not too many things in this world that we can all agree on, except for pizza. The only reason we can all agree on this is that it is extremely versatile on the toppings that we could throw on them, but versatility comes at a price. When we order pizza, it is usually for a group; there is usually a consensus discussed among everyone about the toppings that are to be chosen. (Usually three topping limit.) In this consensus, there is almost always that one guy in the dark corner of the room, usually dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and wearing shades, that speaks with a dominant voice. Pineapple! The consensus secretly huddles to discuss the strange and foreign topping, and when everyone else has come to a conclusion, the answer is always replied with either a no or a simple “why the hell not!”

http://q-r.to/bajTJ8

The Hawaiian pizza was created by a Canadian by the name of Sam Panopoulos of Chatham Ontario in 1962. People these days only talk about why pineapple do not belong on pizza. Today I am going to give you 10 reasons why it deserves its place as a topping on pizza.

 

#10-there are even worst pizza toppings out there.

Everyone these day seems to be freaking out about pineapples on pizza. There are several other toppings that have gone under the radar. I am surprised that nobody has ever called out on them. I am talking about anchovies. The little fishes that are thrown on just for the hell of it. Almost every pizza shop has this topping available for almost anyone who wants to feel adventuress. I’m not saying it’s terrible; it tastes pretty good. It always seems to be way worst then putting pineapples on pizza. I once had a pizza that had gravy, french fries, and cheese on it. It wasn’t too bad. They called it a poutine pizza. There are other strange things that have seen such as ketchup pizza, where they replace the tomato sauce with ketchup. I once had a cheeseburger pizza that had mustard, ketchup, relish, mayo on the pizza. Some places in this beautiful world, they like to put even stranger things such as guinea pigs, octopus, eel, bugs and even squid ink of all things on pizza.

 

#9-The Fruits do not belong on pizza argument.

Many people will argue that fruits do not belong on pizza. This logic has one major flaw, simply because we all know that tomatoes are technically a fruit, even though it taste like a damn vegetable. Olives of all things also fall in the fruit spectrum. The reason people love pineapples on pizza is that it gives the pizza a sweet, juicy and tangy feeling on the tongue. Almost like a sweet divine kiss from the hula god herself. I have tasted amazing Hawaiian pizza in my day, but I have as well tasted terrible Hawaiian pizza, simply because the pizza place uses a cheap canned cocktail pineapple drowned in light syrup when they should be using a fresh pineapple thinly sliced and grilled. Whenever a pizza shop does this, it greatly appeases the Hula goddess.

 

#8-Pineapple is a great source of vitamin C.

It is possible to live on a strict pizza diet. Pizza has everything needed to satisfy the Canadian nutrition food guide. http://q-r.to/bajTJP “To be honest, I added the pizza at the bottom right of the image just for comedic effect.” Adding toppings to the pizza can add extra nutritional value to your meal. Such as adding anchovies for extra omega-3’s, iron, and a vitamin B-12 boost. Pineapple, on the other hand, brings to the table a boost in your vitamin-C intake. Sure the tomato sauce has some vitamin c in it but not as high as having pineapples. Vitamin C is really important for preventing scurvy, and colds by strengthening your immune system. Lesser known fact: Pineapples are one of the only fruits that try to eat you while you are trying to eat it. This is why pineapples are so metal. \m/

 

#7-You are more likely to have leftovers If you ever wanted to have some pizza left over the next day from a party, pineapple pizza could very well make that dream a reality.

Most people will avoid pineapple pizza and go for the pepperoni and cheese instead if all goes well your guess will decide to leave the pineapple pizza behind just for you to consume the very next day. This is great if you and your guests pitch in for pizza because you have a greater chance of getting more bang for your buck. Who can say no to having more pizza?

 

#6-It creates variety Hawaiian pizza is a festive pizza; it is fun and mysterious.

It is usually not as fun to order on its own. To fully enjoy Hawaiian pizza other types of pizza needs to be present. Just pretend we are listening to music on the radio. Ever wonder why the radio stations always play slow and boring songs in between really great songs? This is designed to shoot up and drop the level of dopamine in your brain. Dopamine is the natural drug your bodies produces to make you feel good. The radio stations are usually aware of this fact. The reason why they drop your dopamine levels in your brain is so they can give you another rush of dopamine when they play that next great song that you love. This technique is used in every form of media, from books to video games. If you still hate pineapple pizza by the end of this article, just think of it as a way to make eating your favorite type of pizza even more enjoyable.

 

#5-It tastes amazing when you are not sober.

Let’s be honest, if you were high or drunk and you were in a situation that you were really hungry, you will most likely be too wasted even to care what toppings are on your pizza. I use to hate Hawaiian pizza at one point in my life until one fateful day; I drank to much liquor to the point that it was too unsafe for me to cook anything. So I grabbed a phone called the local pizza shop and mumbled my order. 45 min later, I crawled on the floor all the way to my front door to greet the pizza man. I paid for my food and tipped the pizza man 50$ because I was wasted. When he left, I didn’t move anywhere and ate the pizza straight off the floor. It was the most delicious pizza that I have ever eaten. When the morning came not only the world was spinning, but I have used half the pizza as a pillow. I was covered in cheese ham, sauce, and pineapples. I was more surprised that the pizza was Hawaiian. For some reason, since that day I enjoy eating Hawaiian pizza.

 

#4-It is better when it is cold Nothing is more delicious and more satisfying as morning pizza.

This is why pineapple pizza is hands down my favorite morning pizza. To be honest Hawaiian pizza is a million times better when it is cold. I sometimes wish pizza shops would offer a way to cool the pizza rapidly once it has been made. Such as slicing the pizza and dropping it in liquid nitrogen. By the time it reaches my home address it is near room temperature or slightly cooled.

 

#3-It’s a secret brotherhood If you are a Hawaiian pizza lover, then you probably are a prime candidate to join a secret society called a brotherhood of the high Hawaiian pizza order.

“It is not a real thing; I just made it up… Or did I?” If it were to be the real deal, I could picture large annual gatherings for the purpose to order 10 thousand Hawaiian pizzas and to discuss global domination, with Macaulay Culkin as supreme ruler, of course. Nothing shows your love for pizza more than eating pizza with strange and foreign toppings. It shows that you can brave any challenge that any topping may throw at you. For that, you may claim yourself as a pizza warrior.

 

#2-A great to tell who your true friends are Nothing tests a friendship better than ordering fresh pineapple pizza.

We are not testing to see if they hate it or like it. It is mainly to test how they will react. For some reason, ordering pineapple pizza brings out people’s true color, and sometimes even the worst of them. If you order pizza and friends flip shit, then maybe they are not good friends. A true friend would say, “ I don’t care for pineapple on my pizza, but I could easily rip them off, but since you paid for the food, you are the coolest.” This is the type of people you need to keep in your life.

 

#1-The adventure.

Eating Hawaiian pizza is not about the taste. It is all about the adventure. Hawaiian pizza should feel like as if you have transported to a primitive tropical island, with a large active volcano. On this island, you are eating a grand feast with a primitive tribe. The feast includes many pigs slowly roasting in a massive fire pit stuffed with pineapples. The reason the tribe is cooking all this delicious food is that they are preparing for the sacrificial ritual of throwing a virgin into a volcano to appease the volcano gods. Flowing on this island are rivers of Hawaiian punch, with many other activities to enjoy such as surfing, walking on hot coals, and the occasional game of limbo. There are many hula girls who wear coconut bras and can all play the ukulele. This is what eating Hawaiian pizza should feel like. If for some reason you are not experiencing this when you’re eating Hawaiian pizza, there is something seriously wrong with you.

 

#0- Freedom of choice.

The pineapple as a topping was never intended to gross people out. It was created to give you that extra choice. Whenever people are talking about how pineapple should be banned. These people are not doing anyone any favors. They are slowly trying to take away your freedom, one topping at a time. They first may start with pineapples today. Tomorrow they are banning everything except for cheese sauce and pepperoni. So if you were to take away anything from this ridiculous article is that please don’t jump on the pineapple shouldn’t be on pizza bandwagon. Just order the damn pizza, try it out and decided for yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should like or don’t like. If you love pineapple on pizza, then great! If you don’t… then you don’t.

 

Until next time Skål !

 

Sources:

Hawaiian Pizza Creator: http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-inventor-ofhawaiian-pizza

Squid ink in pizza: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPYwffTuEuo

anchovies nutrition: http://puccifoods.com/pucciseafood-new/blog/choosinganchovies-tiny-powerhouse-nutrition-flavor-sustainability/ pineapple

nutrition: http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=34

pineapple eats you: https://blogs.unimelb.edu.au/sciencecommunication/2012/10/07/the-flesh-eatingpineapple/

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3 thoughts on “10 Reasons Pineapple Belongs On Pizza

  1. Love this post, cheers for writing this man! Would you be interested in sharing your article with our readers on creators.co? We’d love to promote this on our homepage!

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      1. Haha thanks! You’d actually be able to publish it on your own, I can’t do it on your behalf.. if you’re interested send me an email and I’ll walk you through it!

        Like

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